I love you like a fat kid loves cake - Swan Queen One Shot
by LovingUkillsMe
Summary: "The only real stumbling block is fear of failure. In cooking you've got to have a what-the-hell attitude." ― Julia Child - Emma isn't quite sure what is so special about the 14th of February and doesn't also know what's so special about cooking or baking. In the end it seems that Regina enjoys Emma's what-the-hell attitude towards pretty much everything.


**A/N: I don't even know what that is. ;) It's supposed to be funny and fluffy but I really don't know if it's any good at all. (Keep in mind that English is not my first language!) **

**Anyways I hope you enjoy reading it!**

**I'd love to read some reviews, so please let me know what you think, dears. ;) **

**I love you like a fat kid loves cake or Valentine's baking day or whatever you want it to be**

It was the 14th of February when the blonde paced about in her room, desperately trying to figure out why her cell-phone marked today as _super-special and important_. She couldn't put her head around it and by the loss of sleep she was having the last days, all that she came up with was utter crap. The first thing that came to her mind was – after taking in delicious scents from the breakfast her parents were preparing in the kitchen – that it was "Bacon Day". However she knew that she had had festivities due to that day a few months prior hence that wasn't it.

After that stupid idea, she thought about the next option of a special occasion of the year although only because of thinking about the very beautiful brunette that she was thinking about almost 24/7 by now. _It is probably the one and only "Apple Tree Day_". She was almost a hundred percent sure that that was true. However five seconds later she reconsidered it. _Shit that had been last month. _

She scratched her head before continuing to reflect about the possibilities of today's noteworthiness. Her mind rambled about the "The National Napping Day", "The Penguin Awareness Day", "The Draw A Picture Of A Bird Day" (one that her mother would probably enjoy very much) and even and especially about the "Happy Mew Year Day For Cats Day". That one seemed quite interesting but unfortunately was not of importance since neither Regina nor Emma owned a cat. After thinking about the "Polar Bear Swim Day", which she seriously wanted to attend one day, she just fell down on her bed with a loud groan.

Half an hour passed and the blonde wasn't even close to what made the 14th of February so special. She finally decided it'd be best to just go downstairs and ask her parents about it.

Once reaching the last step though, she felt utterly dumb and guilty. The blonde was completely certain that THAT day was in deed today. She hurried to her mother and pulled her into a tight hug. Snow was pulling away just slowly, because she actually enjoyed the mother-daughter moment, but eyed the blonde with a concerned facial expression afterwards. That was when Emma decided to speak up.

"Happy Mother's Day mum." She grinned sheepishly while internally thinking about an excuse as to why she hadn't bought a present or just some stinky flowers.

Snow's bewilderment was rising but her concern was replaced with amusement at her daughter's lack of knowledge. Her husband overheard Emma and made his way towards his two favorite women. A small smile grazed Snow's lips when she silently spoke up. "Um thanks I guess… but today is…"

Charming was standing beside Snow when looking at her with so much love and completing her sentence. "Valentine's day."

Emma let her jaw drop carelessly and gawked at them for a minute before feeling even dumber than before. She cradled her head in her hands while wishing her hands were quicksand. When she spoke up her voice was muffled by both of her hands.

"Oh shit."

Her parents were eyeing her worriedly but tried hard to contain their laughter. _The goofiness runs in the family_, Charming thought to himself and patted his daughter's shoulder. Green-blue eyes that were filled with sorrow and guilt locked with his. Emma quickly excused herself and made her way out of the apartment.

She arrived in front of the flower shop after ten minutes without anything but her love for the mayor. Emma had honestly considered giving Regina her heart as a present. However she knew that that just wasn't going to work. The only thing that she knew in that moment was that she couldn't come empty-handed and therefore made her way to the entrance of the shop. There was a sign hanging loosely at the door which read "_Closed"._

_Oh this is freaking fantastic, _she thought to herself while wildly waving her hands and even her head around. Her hands formed fists and anger filled her whole body as she infuriatingly bounced up and down. She let out a loud groan and sat back in her yellow imposition of a car.

Her head hit the steering wheel once before she decided to head to the forest. _If there aren't any flowers then I'm going to kill myself._

**An hour of "walking around in the forest; tripping and then sliding down a muddy slope; hitting her head at a pebble and almost dying because of it; finding flowers and gathering them; finally driving to the mayor's house with a bundle of weird looking flowers" later**

Emma exhaled deeply ten times before straightening out and striking over her more than dirty jeans. Her former white shirt was brown and her hair was somehow darker than it used to be. Randomly put together flowers were clutched in her left hand as she hid them behind her back. Her head turned to take a quick look at the "beautiful bouquet" and simultaneously noticed that her behind was surprisingly white and clean.

_I should probably go in ass-first instead of headfirst... _She thought to herself but still walked up the steps to the front door of the mayor's house. _This isn't a good idea. Just try to not get killed. _Her right hand struggled to ring at the bell and for a short moment she simply wanted to head home again to take a shower. That option was taken away from her as soon as the door opened in front of her slapping her right across the face. She hit the ground roaring and grumbling her pain and laid there in the dirt again for a few seconds. Once she was trying to stand up she just cursed the situation – in a very Emma Swan like manner.

"For the love of Aphrodite!"

"Yes dear?"

Regina hovered over her by now and her deep husky voice made its way to Emma's ear… and then continued affecting her somewhere else… _just a little lower._

The blonde looked into chocolate brown eyes and gawked at them for a while before recollecting her thoughts and flowers again.

"Here these are for you."

She smiled sheepishly and held the bundle of flowers – which she had apparently just laid on, because they seemed even more squashed than before – under Regina's nose. The older woman eyed them suspiciously and had to hold in the laughter that was slowly bubbling up. Even if the flowers really looked utterly weird she could somehow only adore them, especially due to the cute blonde handing them to her. She snatched the "bouquet" from Emma's hands and held it to her heart. Emma chuckled at the action and knew exactly that Regina was shitting her.

The brunette grabbed the dirty shirt in front of her with her free hand and yanked it towards her. Their lips crashed together but their bodies stayed mere inches away from each other. Both of them hummed happily into the longing kiss but once Emma tried to move closer, Regina stepped away to break it.

"Uh uh. Not until you rid yourself of that dirt, Sheriff."

The mayor hissed with a teasing smirk on her face while inspecting the blonde in front of her intently. Emma gulped and decided to accept the challenge after a while.

"Oh admit it. You like it dirty."

Regina chuckled as Emma cheekily grinned at her, the brunette's hand still clinging to the muddy shirt.

"Not true. I loathe filthiness Miss Swan. I think you have to make up for this audacity."

The brunette replied flirtingly and in her good old – mayor – manner. She winked at Emma after pointing that out and reached out for her hand to quickly drag her inside.

**An hour of "hot lesbian make-up s-e-x in a steaming shower, redressing each other; but after that noticing each other's horniness, therefore making love in the bed, redressing each other… again and again..." later**

Emma stood in the middle of the kitchen and tried to think about something appropriate to "give" Regina on the love birdies' day – beside the intimate, physical part that they had just performed several times. After a moment of shifting around awkwardly she proposed a question with such a childish voice that it could have almost been Henry's.

"How about muffins or a cake?"

Regina furrowed her brows and answered dryly. "Why do I feel like this is a bad idea?"

The blonde felt only a bit offended and waved about while justifying herself and her abilities. "Hey my cooking skills have improved!"

"Good for you. However the problem seems to be baking and not cooking, dear." The mayor remained unconvinced though and felt slightly bored. She sat down on a nearby chair and examined her perfectly manicured fingers.

"Ugh seriously? It's like almost the same." Emma simply didn't get the difference between cooking and baking. However that just wasn't her main problem in the moment. If she was being honest with herself, she would have said that Regina was right about baking being a bad idea, but she didn't know what else to do for the woman who already had everything.

Regina snorted before replying. "I consider a cake made by you – whether it's cooked or baked and even if the former wouldn't be seriously wrong – will lead most certainly to disaster, that I absolutely don't want to deal with… neither in my kitchen nor anywhere else."

Emma actually tried to think something through for a few minutes and somehow a brilliant idea rolled over her like a heavy tank. She knew exactly what to do… not only did she want to do it for a while now but the location would probably please Regina just as well. "How about we do the whole baking thing in Snow's kitchen?"

"Count me in."

The reply came almost immediately and a devilish grin grazed the mayor's features as she said it.

**Three hours of "at least thousands of failed baking attempts and a few very dirty kitchen make out sessions" later**

The blonde put on the kitchen mittens and opened the oven carefully. She retrieved the baking sheet and placed it on a kitchen unit while happily smiling to herself. It was the first successful baking attempt so far and Emma felt quite satisfied with her skills. However Regina stood a few meters away with a portable fire extinguisher in her hands and an overly annoyed expression on her face.

She had of course enjoyed making love with the Sheriff on the kitchen table, the stove and so on and so on. The numerous failed baking attempts though didn't please her all too much, especially when she had to actually put the fire extinguisher to use. A month ago she would have just used magic for that matter but since Henry didn't want her to perform magic – at least not right now – she just had to stick to her promise. _Operation Swan Queen and all that. _She thought to herself while internally smirking for a second.

The brunette's attire was all white because of the fire slacking action and her normally perfect coiffed hair looked slightly messy. She still couldn't deny that turning the Charming's kitchen into a complete and utter mess had been fun.

Emma eyed her with concern written all over her face and sat down at the kitchen table, urging Regina to sit down as well. The mayor had to grin because of the chaos they had created and was following Emma to the table. She looked at the muffins in front of her and immediately gave all of her attention to a very certain muffin. It wasn't just completely red and had a strong scent of apple, but it also had something on top of it.

Regina looked baffled for a second and taken aback while trying to make proper thoughts about it. Only when Emma suddenly kneeled in front of her did she seem to understand. The blonde took the mayor's right hand in hers and grabbed the muffin to hold it out for the woman she loved more than anything. She smiled that sheepish and original smile of hers and locked eyes with Regina. It was a miracle really that the brunette was the first to find the courage to speak.

"Miss Swan, do you expect me to put on a ring that had been in the oven and is probably burning up my skin?"

Emma knew her lover quite good by now and could tell from the very elegant changing of subject that Regina didn't necessarily want to answer the upcoming question. The blonde still knew deep inside of her heart that the mayor could just say yes. They practically already lived together and often seemed like an old married couple. _And it was true love so it was only logical._

"What? Oh please! I'm not that dumb."

The blonde replied being quite annoyed with the disturbance but somehow finding it adorable almost like everything Regina had ever done.

"Are you serious? About being dumb I mean." The mayor eyed her sternly and her voice was just as dry as before.

"Of course I am. Are you or are you just shitting me?" Emma teasingly asked while winking at the woman that hovered over her.

"Shitting you? I don't think so Emma."

_Well at least she's using my first name again. _Emma thought to herself.

"You know what I think?"

"Is that a trick question, dear?"

The mayor asked with a slight up tilt of her lips, smiling internally as she obviously and sarcastically was joking with the often goofy woman in front of her. Her voice remained straight though as she was willing to not let her mask drop that easily.

"Gina!" Emma screeched quietly and slightly smacked the other woman's knee in front of her. Regina subsequently mouthed a silent "OW" before giving in.

"Ok fine what do you think?" She sounded quite annoyed when saying it but was really just amused about it. The brunette always managed it to distract the blonde but apparently not this time.

"I love you like a fat kid loves cake. And I hope you love me just as well. So marry me if I'm wrong but I think you want to marry me."

The blonde grinned at her expectantly and extracted the ring from the muffin to soon place the ring on Regina's finger.

Regina couldn't hold it in any longer and just had to chuckle before warmly smiling at Emma. She cupped her cheeks into her hands and whispered in the most loving way she'd ever spoken to the blonde.

"The simile is slightly weird but that's why I love you too so it's a yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes."

And they took turns with saying "yes" over and over again, like all those couples in those ordinary schmaltzy films tend to do. After an eternity of repeating the word though Regina finally pulled both of them into a standing position and kissed her lover fiercely. The two of them felt the butterflies inside of them exploding as they clung to one another for dear life, touching impatiently every part of one another while continuing to kiss. Regina begged for entrance with her tongue and moaned happily when feeling the other woman's tongue fighting with her own. Emma took the brunette's face into both of her hands to steady herself and to further deepen their kiss. Their breaths mingled together and their shared desire was rising.

Regina touched the blonde's sides eagerly as she broke the kiss in order to plant pecks on the other woman's cheek and slowly moved downwards with her lips. She then pushed a panting Emma on top of the table while assaulting the throat of the younger woman ever so hungrily and not noticing that Emma's family had entered the building. _Oh by the love of all fairytale characters,_ the blonde thought to herself when she opened her eyes for a moment to see her mother from a very awkward position.

And Snow just screamed. "PORN!"

Charming took in the mess in front of him and yelled "MY POOR KITCHEN!"

Henry was happily smirking and thinking "DAMN YES SUCCESS! OPERATION SWAN QUEEN BIATCHES!"

Last but not least Ruby came around the corner frowning and loudly sighed. "COCKBLOCK"

**THE END**

**A/N: Please review? :)**


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